By Ophelia Wang from Caring Nature
Did you know a lot of your undesired feelings and unwanted habits stem from the ways you have attempted to ‘cope’ with life’s pressures?
But no one is born with a bad habit, an addiction, a phobia or an unnecessary worry. Only TWO fears are present in small babies – fear of loud noises and falling.
You accumulate the rest from your surroundings and society. The situation you grow up in shapes your deepest beliefs and core emotions, leading to the habits and behaviors that you develop in life.
Smoking, alcoholism, drug addictions, binge eating, gambling, etc. these and other unhealthy lifestyle habits developed as a way of coping with unresolved issues faced in life.
These coping mechanisms is a form of distraction from the unmet needs that you are really feeling. But are these behaviors in fact more harmful than helpful for you?
It is important that you know, a momentary coping mechanism reduces the intensity, but does not address the core issues underneath. Stress brings anxiety and then the urge to act (drink, smoke, shop, steal, sex, etc.).
Maybe you’ve tried countless times, maybe you’ve attempted numerous diets and lifestyle changes, getting to a good place, but over time to slipping back into the old habit or fears and being right back where you started. Usually feeling less worth, less hope, because you again have ‘failed’ to do what you really intended to do for yourself.
And you’re more fearful that you cannot make a difference in life. That’s because your attempts are not dealing with the core issue.
You have to face up to how you really feel, and move past any self-limiting thoughts in your belief system that are stopping you from being who you really want to be.
The fact is, it is YOUR choice whether you want to give yourself that chance, to stay stuck in this cycle, or to get out of it with a full change.
Ask yourself, why are you standing in your own way?
You were not born with the unwanted habits or feelings. They are not part of who you are. It is a behaviour you have adopted as a way of coping, but you know today that it no longer serves you, and you don’t want it in your life.
Have you ever sat and asked yourself;
What do I really want?
What is missing inside of me?
What can really bring me what I want?
What can I do to make a difference?
Most importantly, what is one thing that I really need to achieve in order to feel great? What does that mean to my life? What will I do with that achievement?
By asking yourself these questions, you can become more connected with your feelings, to understand what in your subconscious mind is standing in your way.
Access the feelings you have suppressed, without reacting to them with the use of self-sabotaging thoughts (e.g. fear, anxiety) or behaviors (e.g. smoking, comfort eating).
Then ask yourself, how does it feel to know that you could be in control of your life? That you could acknowledge the fears within you, head on. And not let them define how you conduct your life going forward?
Isn’t that empowering to rediscover the feelings that you want which you actually used to have?
You can move forward towards your goals knowing that YOU are in charge of your feelings, not the other way around.
Feeling control over an urge is incredibly encouraging, because you know you’ve gone through the worst and don’t want to return to that vicious cycle again.
Learn how to listen to your emotions and what they are trying to tell you to do.
Changes can only happen with preparedness, commitment, consistency, readiness, and perseverance.
You are 100% in charge, in control and accountable.
You are not represented by your behaviors or bad habits. But every day you resist change is a day you are not the ‘best you’.
It is time to re-mind yourself, re-new your life, and re-act for the best version of yourself.
“How does one become a butterfly? “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up on being a caterpillar.” Trina Paulus.